Thursday, October 20, 2011

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Twenty-nine

Day 129 - Visualizing the Fantasy
It is worth noting that fantasy helps us.  I will set aside for the moment my previous blog entry about going to the movies - that is a different kind of momentary fantasy that brings certain benefits.  This one is about the fantasies you would like to come true.
I had a phone interview for a temporary training job in Southern California.  It raised in my mind the fantasy of returning to the warm sunshine and (usually) quiet beaches of Long Beach, and spending time with some dear friends there.  I thought of the 74-degree Christmas I enjoyed a few years ago, and driving with the top down with a Christmas tree sitting on the passenger seat.  I thought about what I would do if I got this job - how it would feel, what my commute would be like (especially with the construction on the 405-22 interchange).  I wondered, naturally, if it would lead to adequate income.
Another fantasy I had was about someone I’m growing fond of, and what life would be like if we could actually date.  What would that feel like?  What kind of compromises would I be willing to make (what would I be unwilling to make)?  “Being Alive” was brought up - a song from Sondheim’s “Company” I used to sing for auditions in college - and how I think I am ready again for someone to “sit in my chair, and ruin my sleep, and make me aware of being alive.”
It dawned on me that fantasy is another way of visualizing what I want.  That is how we create our reality, right?  It is what athletes do - creating in their mind what it feels like to win, or leap, or throw - visualizing their goal.  I had some time to experience (albeit in my mind) what it will be like when these fantasies come true.  I am grateful to have such an imagination.

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