Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Twenty-eight

Day 128 - Movies
I am in a funk today.  OK, it started awhile ago.  I’m not sure why, really; I had a good week last week with Lizzie, and although I hurt myself yesterday, I ended up spending the evening with good friends - dinner, then drinks - and I had a blast.  Someone I want to get to know better joined us, and I was delighted to have a chance to talk to him a bit.  I even got to meet someone I have chatted with briefly online.  It was a pleasant night.
Still, the loneliness I felt a few days ago lingers; I’d like to share a bit of time with someone I’m really fond of, but who lives at quite a distance.  I would be interested in putting myself out there with a view toward dating someone local - someone I find quite attractive - but given my current circumstances, feel totally hobbled.  No one wants to date a U-6.
As I was reading the paper last Sunday, I read a review of the movie “Weekend.”  It’s a British film about a young gay couple who spend a weekend together.  The review was very positive, and I decided to go.  I sent a message to a whole bunch of people and a few said they’d join me.
I was afraid that this movie, showing two handsome young men falling in love might make my funk worse.  After all, I’m not young anymore, and I was afraid this movie might rub salt in all the wrong wounds.  Still, I wanted to see it.  
We went to the 7:00 showing, and I really enjoyed it.  The movie did not have the formulaic happy ending, though it did show both young men make significant personal growth as they said goodbye to each other and the end.  It was a lovely moment that reminded me a bit of saying goodbye to Nacho in San Francisco last month.
I felt as if the writer/director understood me.  Again, that feeling of “community” and being understood made a difference.
I am grateful to have had a couple hours to simply escape into a world I know well and makes me feel good.  I need to take better advantage of these opportunities.

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