Day 226 - Empathy
Today was a melancholy day.
It started out well. I made it to the King Street Station in Seattle without fuss - the bus came after a short wait, and dropped me off a block from my destination. Not bad.
I think it took me 30 minutes from the moment I walked into the station to boarding the train - it was a relative breeze, compared to air travel and the long lines everywhere. I love the train - it’s roomy, easy, comfortable... and while it may take me a lot longer to get where I’m going, I’m not frazzled and queazy.
What I wasn’t expecting was the sense of dread. The closer I got to Portland, the more depressed I felt. It didn’t have anything to do with Portland, but rather the return to the existence I’ve been dealing with for the past three years; as a close friend said, “it’s like voluntarily walking back into the cage.” I don’t feel trapped by the city, but by my current circumstances. Try as I might, I can’t seem to break out.
Two friends have shown an undying empathy; they understand what I’m coping with (one has been through it; the other is a mental health professional who has the empathy thing down pat). I don’t think I’d be around except for friends like these.
Thank you both for your concern and compassion.