Wednesday, January 25, 2012

A Year of Gratitude - Day Two Hundred Twenty-six

Day 226 - Empathy
Today was a melancholy day.  
It started out well.  I made it to the King Street Station in Seattle without fuss - the bus came after a short wait, and dropped me off a block from my destination.  Not bad.
I think it took me 30 minutes from the moment I walked into the station to boarding the train - it was a relative breeze, compared to air travel and the long lines everywhere.  I love the train - it’s roomy, easy, comfortable... and while it may take me a lot longer to get where I’m going, I’m not frazzled and queazy.
What I wasn’t expecting was the sense of dread.  The closer I got to Portland, the more depressed I felt.  It didn’t have anything to do with Portland, but rather the return to the existence I’ve been dealing with for the past three years; as a close friend said, “it’s like voluntarily walking back into the cage.”  I don’t feel trapped by the city, but by my current circumstances.  Try as I might, I can’t seem to break out.
Two friends have shown an undying empathy; they understand what I’m coping with (one has been through it; the other is a mental health professional who has the empathy thing down pat).  I don’t think I’d be around except for friends like these.  
Thank you both for your concern and compassion.

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