Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Eighty-three

Day 183 - Reality Checks
I woke up today with some doubts about where my life is going that affected my mood.  There were clear reasons for the doubts to surface, but without the context that would come in time, I figured they were wasted worrying about things over which I have little or no control, even though it didn’t feel good to face them.  I have to let go and allow things work out the way they will.
As the day progressed, my doubts were calmed.  Not that the potential for disappointment went away, but I was able to cope with the misgivings.  It was a leisurely day, nice weather, good company....  The only sad part was having to leave Victoria.
The ferry ride was easy - seas were smooth as glass - and though the passengers closest to me were also the loudest, I had the good sense to bring my ear phones with me, and I listened to music while I read.  I didn’t get the meal I wanted - they sold out quickly - but I had something good that would tide me over until dinner.  My ride couldn’t be at the pier in time for my arrival, but I didn’t have to wait long.  
At the end of the day, I thought about the benefits of having had the doubts surface.  They provided me with a reality check - a way to stay grounded.  Maybe the things I have been going for (the job, the relationship, whatever it might be) won’t work out the way I think I want them to; that leaves me open to allow something else that could be better.  Maybe they will work out exactly as I hope.  We shall see.  It is all good, so there is no reason to worry.

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