A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty-six

Day 86 - Twenty-one Years Ago Today

Twenty-one years ago today, September 5th, my daughter Elizabeth Arda was born at 1:30 PM at St. Vincent’s Hospital here in Portland.  And in that intervening 21 years, in spite of a great deal of strife and tribulation, she has become one of the most beautiful, most brilliant young women I have ever met.  Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her (and to be fair, her siblings, too).  And to say I am proud of her is a gross understatement.  However, there are not words in our language that could come close to describing what she means to me.

I am so lucky to have her in my life.  She was always a remarkable kid; she is going to be a remarkable woman.  That she wants to spend time with me, explore new places with me, talk about important things with me is all added to the blessing that her just being brings to me.  She is simply amazing.

Many fathers are proud of their daughters, and proud to be their daughter’s father.  That may be true, but they cannot compare to my good fortune.  I was granted the very best.

To say I love her very much is another understatement, but the best I can do.  I am a better man for knowing her; I am the luckiest man alive to have her as my daughter.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty-five

Day 85 - Unexpected Joy

I received an unusual invitation a couple days ago to attend a drag competition called “La Femme Magnifique” from dear friends who have been involved in the community for decades.  I didn’t know, really, what to expect - I had only been to one “coronation ceremony” in the past, and it was years ago in another state.  I didn’t know anything about this particular event.  All I knew was that I wasn’t going to miss it.

I had to hurry to get there, too.  I had spent part of my day on the Columbia River and needed time to get home, freshened up, dressed, have my dinner, and drive into downtown, and I only had about 90 minutes.  I made it.

As the event began, I saw the familiar sights of a drag show - men dressed and made up as women and lip synching to a variety of music, and most of the performers were quite good.  As the night progressed, it amazed me how much time, effort, expense, and dedication went into it.  Some of the gowns and costumes must have cost a fortune, and these ladies had obviously practiced their performances.  A lot.  

I understand most of these shows raise money for a multitude of charities, and the amount of money the various organizations around the world raise to help others is staggering.  Three charities were benefited tonight.  But few people outside this community are aware of anything except the fact that these beautiful women are actually men.

Yet who can blame them?  In some cases, you’d never know they were men if you saw these individuals on the street.  The riot of color, sparkle, energy and style were nothing short of brilliant.  Many women - and men - would do well to emulate the grace and tenacity of these incredible performers.

What impacted me the most wasn’t the enormity of the Showgirl costumes, or the glitter and workmanship of beads and sequins, or the finely-honed skill demonstrated in makeup or hairstyles.  It was the sheer joy of being on stage, being who they are, and celebrating this wonderful version of beauty that rocked that ballroom.  I can’t express in words how much I enjoyed this night, and I can’t wait until next year to witness it again.

My sincere thanks to Scott Warme and Cicely for including me in this amazing experience.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty-four

Day 84 - A Holiday Weekend

When one lacks a regular, full-time job, holidays are pointless.  From what are you taking a holiday?  I’m not talking about Holy Days - that’s a different topic altogether.  I’m talking about a day set aside by our government to allow us a day off work to contemplate, and honor, a given subject, person(s), or event.  To those of us who are without regular work, holidays lose their meaning.

On the other hand, we don’t need holidays to remember the things for which others need a reminder.  Thanksgiving?  I am thankful for every meal I enjoy, and for the generosity of others without which I would literally be starving.  The New Year?  I think of all the new beginnings I have every month, every week, every day, in the hopes that this new contact, or meeting, or conversation, or mixer might lead to the next chapter of my happiness.  

I celebrate Presidents Day (the mis-guided - IMO - attempt at combining Lincoln’s and Washington’s birthdays into one, and thus circumventing the need to include any others on the calendar) almost daily.  I am regularly reminded how our early leaders were far more altruistic and socially grounded than anyone currently in political office, or we wouldn’t have a country at all.  (Can you imagine how quickly the fledgling United States would have crumbled had it been led by any of our modern politicians?  I shudder to think of it.)

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day - not only would I not be alive today without them, but I would have died long ago if I hadn’t had their support.  To this day, I would be nothing without their generosity and love.  Independence Day?  Stripping away all the hype and false patriotism vomited by our current politicians, I remember every day how our freedom to choose our own paths is in our control; the circumstances in which we find ourselves may not be of our choosing, but how we respond to them is.  Just as our founding fathers and the citizens who heeded the call to give life and breath to freedom did so of their own will, so too we can give our all for the benefit of our society.

Labor Day....  I celebrate, honor, and revere those who made the Worker our national hero.  I am grateful for the countless employees who, through their hard work, dedication, and devotion to the improvement of our society, have earned our respect and gratitude.  Without them, this country could not have thrived as it has.

All I ask now is to be one of them again - the employed.  Though Monday is officially Labor Day, I will take this opportunity to make this whole weekend a celebration of employment.  I don’t need a holiday to do it, but here it is.  I try not to pass up too many opportunities these days. 

A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty-three

Day 83 - A New Lead

Today was a quieter day.  I didn’t have anything on the calendar except one networking meeting.  I was able to do some chores, cook a nice souffle for dinner, and generally take it easy.  

Then I got an email from an HR friend (also looking for work) about a training position that was posted by a recruiter.  I sent the recruiter a message via LinkedIn right away.  Then I saw his posting via an HR Network email list I subscribe to, so I sent him an email with my resume attached.

I fight my doubts about my chances.  I try not to allow myself to think about all the other training professionals in the area with more impressive resumes.  I just sent it off as quickly as I could with a cover letter that explained how well qualified I am.  (I’m going to  avoid thinking about how I didn’t talk about my passions and what makes me who I am - important information for a cover letter that I totally forgot to discuss.)

At least I have a new lead.  Thank goodness they come in from time to time.  And thank you, Virginia, for thinking of me.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty-two

Day 82 - Resolution

Back in May, I got a speeding ticket for using my gas pedal and the open left lane to get out from behind a big pickup in order to see beyond the ten feet in front of me that he so generously afforded as he pulled into my lane.  Naturally, the patrolman was right there.  After receiving the notice in the mail, I called the court to ask about procedures (I have never had a ticket in Oregon) and spoke to a very nice woman who suggested that, since I had some concerns, I should plead not guilty and talk to the judge about it.

Unfortunately, I think she was a little optimistic about how that might go for me.  (Or maybe she was playing me like a guitar; I don’t know.)  Suffice it to say, for a “violation” (as opposed to a misdemeanor or felony), the state (in this case, the officer) needs only to supply evidence of my guilt for me to be found guilty.  My word/explanation/intention is irrelevant.  In traffic court, you are presumed guilty unless you can prove there isn't enough evidence (or the officer doesn't show up).

Don’t you just love the “justice” system?

But it’s done.  In the bigger picture, it doesn’t matter, though I resent having a “conviction” for a violation that hundreds of others were committing (the officer admitted the average speed was about 10 miles an hour over the posted speed limit).  I was the unlucky sot who got to pay for it.

The one sort-of-good part was that my fine was reduced almost in half.  I suppose I should be grateful for that, though it felt more like extortion or blackmail, but I guess that’s a plea bargain, right?  Whatever.

This entry may sound negative, but the good news is that it's over.  I’m grateful to have this behind me.  

A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty-one

Day 81 - New Audiences

Networking is exhausting.

It’s the middle of the week, the last day of August, and I have very little this month to show for all my efforts except the expense report.  I have spent more this month on gas, coffee meetings, meals, and parking (especially parking) than in any month since I returned from Southern California last winter.  I also received two “rejection notices” today about job applications.  Not fun.

Thankfully, I started the day on a high note.  A new networking contact had invited me to present to a gathering of small business leaders he hosts on Wednesday mornings.  As I began, I was a little disappointed that four of the eight people scheduled to attend didn’t show, so I only had half the audience I had been promised.  Still, there were three people present that I had never met, and two are looking at the possibility of expanding their businesses.  My presentation was an excerpt from a program I developed, “Interviewing Skills for Hiring Managers,” and I received some very positive feedback from them.  You never know....

Sometimes I feel like I’m spinning my wheels (especially when the two other appointments I was supposed to have cancelled at the last minute).  Fortunately, though, when I get to speak to a new audience, it expands my reach just a little more.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Eighty

Day 80 - Jigsaw Puzzles

I had the chance to share a meal with a colleague I’ve only met relatively recently, but for whom I’m building quite an admiration.  She is intelligent, articulate, and intuitive.  We spoke of many things - relationships and dating, interpersonal communication, conflict in the workplace - all over a fantastic (and inexpensive) lunch at Salvador Molly’s in Hillsdale.  

As we enjoyed our salads, I was telling her about a program I want to develop on training leaders (particularly men) on being gender-neutral; I have told several others of my ideas, and during each conversation, a little more of the puzzle seems to come together.  This time, I realized that as I put a few more pieces in place, I am starting to see an image appear.  There isn’t enough of it put together to make sense yet, but I can see a pattern developing and where I think I want to take it.  If it weren’t for this conversation, I wouldn’t have made this progress.

I’m grateful to have access to such insightful people that they help me to develop these ideas.  Thank you, Berry, for helping me put a few more pieces of this jigsaw puzzle into place.  Let’s do that again.