A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Eighty-three

Day 183 - Reality Checks

I woke up today with some doubts about where my life is going that affected my mood.  There were clear reasons for the doubts to surface, but without the context that would come in time, I figured they were wasted worrying about things over which I have little or no control, even though it didn’t feel good to face them.  I have to let go and allow things work out the way they will.

As the day progressed, my doubts were calmed.  Not that the potential for disappointment went away, but I was able to cope with the misgivings.  It was a leisurely day, nice weather, good company....  The only sad part was having to leave Victoria.

The ferry ride was easy - seas were smooth as glass - and though the passengers closest to me were also the loudest, I had the good sense to bring my ear phones with me, and I listened to music while I read.  I didn’t get the meal I wanted - they sold out quickly - but I had something good that would tide me over until dinner.  My ride couldn’t be at the pier in time for my arrival, but I didn’t have to wait long.  

At the end of the day, I thought about the benefits of having had the doubts surface.  They provided me with a reality check - a way to stay grounded.  Maybe the things I have been going for (the job, the relationship, whatever it might be) won’t work out the way I think I want them to; that leaves me open to allow something else that could be better.  Maybe they will work out exactly as I hope.  We shall see.  It is all good, so there is no reason to worry.

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Eighty-two

Day 182 - Beauty

Sometimes we find beauty in unexpected ways.

Today was a beautiful day, too; the weather forecast was for clouds and a slight chance of showers.  However, it ended up being partly sunny and dry, and we were glad of it, as we walked to catch a bus to Butchart Gardens.

Neither of us had been during the winter, so we didn’t really know what to expect.  We went in the afternoon with an idea of seeing the gardens during the day, and the lights after sunset.  Believe it or not, there were still a few flowers in bloom, despite freezing temperatures.  As the sun sank lower in the sky, the lights in the gardens became more visible, indicating the constant effort the groundskeepers clearly make to keep the gardens spectacular.

We came back in time to put up Christmas; Ignacio’s apartment building does not allow natural Christmas trees (fire hazard), so he uses an outdoor light “tree” instead - a lawn decoration that, at Ignacio’s hands, becomes a clever way to display Christmas tree ornaments, and one I haven’t seen anywhere before, even in a shop window or display table.  He takes a simple item and makes it beautiful in a simple way.  (I wish photos could do it justice.)

After trimming the tree, we had a little dinner, and then two of Ignacio’s friends came over for cocktails.  We had a pleasant time with them, talking, laughing, and sharing stories....  As the evening wrapped up, I realized Ignacio had introduced me to his “family” on this trip; his parents and siblings live in Venezuela, so in Victoria he has only his friends - his “chosen” family - and I was honored to have been introduced.  I had a lovely time.

I am surrounded by beauty, and happy to have noticed it.

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Eighty-one

Day 181 - Companionship

I am reminded from time to time that companionship is not about conversation, or activity, or agreeing on any particular subject or point of view.  It is about sharing one’s experience with another; enjoying each other’s company even when no word is spoken, perhaps doing different things, whether next to each other on the couch, or in different rooms within the same house, or across town from each other and knowing you are still connected.  The activity doesn’t matter.

Today was such a day.  A fun walk along the breakwater.  A quick trip to the market.  After-dinner cocktails with his dear friend.  No specific agenda, just a quiet day shared with someone special.  It felt neither rushed nor slow; just the perfect pace to enjoy every moment.  It was as close to “perfect” as it could get.

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Eighty

Day 180 - Small Tokens

I woke up ten minutes before my alarm went off.  I was out of bed before the second alarm sounded.  This is not like me.

I had plenty of time to have a cup of coffee and shower before departing for Victoria.  I was excited.  Amy generously drove me to Pier 69, where I checked in for my 8:00 AM ferry ride.  There wasn’t much of a line, and I hoped to get into the first boarding group.  Sure enough, I was number 13 - what a lucky thing to be that early.  The group of people already waiting wasn’t clue enough that I had misread my boarding number - I was turned away at the gate and it was then that I properly read the number: 113.  I was in group 3.  Oh well - the gate agent was good natured about it, and I was only momentarily embarrassed.  At least my boarding number for the return trip was 10 - I checked more than once.

The voyage to Victoria was easy - the water was smooth as glass, so my second dose of Dramamine may have been unnecessary.  The only wave action we saw was when crossing the wake of a cargo ship head of us on the starboard side.  I was off the boat quickly once we docked in Victoria, focusing on getting to the coffee shop where Ignacio suggested he meet at 12:30 - he had planned to work only a half day, so 12:30 would be as early as he would be back to the neighborhood.  It was now 10:45 and the coffee shop was four blocks away.

As I rounded the corner out of the Clipper terminal toward the street, there was Ignacio already waiting for me.  He had changed his plans and took the entire day off, but didn’t tell me, to maintain the element of surprise.  I was duly, and enthusiastically, surprised.  We walked together to his apartment content as we began the weekend.

Ignacio gave me a cowl scarf that he knitted; he was working on it when I visited last month, though didn’t complete until after I came back home.  The surprise gift was a winter cap he made for me - the first had he ever knitted.  Included in the bag was some high-end chocolate made there in Victoria, and a small bag of loose tea I had enjoyed on my previous visit that isn’t available in the States except by mail.

I gave him a rainbow irid glass bowl I had made for him, along with some glass beads I had made awhile ago that I thought he would enjoy.  My thought was to wear them one at a time, but he chose to wear them all.

It was a lovely day.  Small tokens are such wonderful things.

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Seventy-nine

Day 179 - Hope in Spite of the Fears

I was up and ready early.  I had plenty of time to take care of emails and other online work after I shaved and showered before I needed to drive to the hotel.  Again, I was about to interview for a position that, by itself, does not interest me.  My focus would be on remaining open to the opportunities the universe was bringing to me in response to my needs.

I didn’t have to wait long for Sarah to arrive in the lobby to begin the first of two interviews, and as I took my seat across the table from her, I felt calm.  Sarah is a professional.  She maintains an easy economy of energy in both conversation and movement - highly polished and poised, though not generous.  She asked a lot of behavioral questions (“Tell me about a time when...”) relating to the position as well as general hospitality issues.  Having coached others on these types of questions helped me give answers I felt comfortable explaining, and I tried to take my own advice of spending only 30 to 60 seconds on any response.  Only once did I have to ask her to restate the questions to ensure I had answered it fully.

I felt good about the exchange; we weren’t going to be best friends by the end of the interview, but I had the sense she would not be difficult to work for.  We spoke for about 90 minutes, and then she took me to see Dave, the managing director (“General Manager” at other properties).  

Dave has a self-confidence that is at once compelling and disarming; I imagine he could also be quite intimidating under the right circumstances.  He greeted me warmly, and as we started in on the meat of the conversation, he asked about my resume - he didn’t see the flow of my employment history logically moving toward this position, which is obviously a step backward in my career.

As we discussed my resume, he asked me if I knew his dear, close personal friend who was GM at the Los Angeles Marriott Downtown - a man by the name of Reggie.  Uh-oh.  Dave’s best friend was the worst GM I have ever had the bad fortune to work for, or at least that was how I felt when I left (and I haven’t had a worse relationship with a GM since).  

Dave explained he had originally planned to share Thanksgiving with Reggie and their respective families.  Oh, dear.  I explained that Reggie and I had only worked together for a short time, and that I had grown up a lot since those days.  I told him the (true) story of the last time he and I disagreed on something, and that I felt we had a mutual respect by the end of the discussion.  I hoped that was enough to avoid any adverse decisions based on a conversation between the two of them, which I have no doubt would happen (though I do doubt I’ll ever know).

The conversation felt very easy; there were several moments when Dave would say something encouraging, like “Exactly” or “I agree,” and I felt as if we were making a connection.  By the end of the interview, when he was saying goodbye, he told me he “enjoyed it.”  I had no reason to think he didn’t mean it.  He told me I should hear within 48 hours.

I finished the day with mixed feelings: on one hand, I felt everything went very well and I had done a good job with the interview; on the other, I wondered if both Sarah’s efficient style and Dave’s close friendship with a man I once loathed would work against me for this position.  At the end of the day, I had to leave it for the universe to work out.  I had done my part.

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Seventy-eight

Day 178 - And the Driving is Easy

I am clearly focused on my interviews in Seattle: I forgot to make an important phone call this morning.  It is on my calendar; the alerts sounded as scheduled; and still I couldn’t remember to call.  I left a message - maybe she’ll call me back.

I left Tigard for Seattle in good time - only 30 minutes after my goal departure time.  It wasn’t important to leave by a specific hour, but I hoped to miss traffic both in Portland and in Seattle.  By leaving at 10:30, it was likely I’d have smooth sailing, barring any traffic incidents or significant road work.

The drive was uneventful and easy.  The weather was not unpleasant, and the number of other cars on the road moderate at best.

I didn’t have any great moments of clarity on during this drive, but something of a comfort, or feeling of confirmation; I had the sense that I was in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.  ...Whatever that might be.

A Year of Gratitude - Day One Hundred Seventy-seven

Day 177 - “HR Therapist”

The day started with moderating the Breakfast Club of Portland job seekers networking group, and I felt the meeting went well.  Everyone had a chance to commit to various activities  that will hopefully speed their job searches along, and we were only overtime by ten minutes.  The conversation was good (for the most part; there was one participant who seemed to still be angry about being unemployed), and the participants were motivated.  Each meeting adds one person to the number of attendees, and that makes me feel good about what I’m doing.

A little later, I met with a colleague who had asked me to sit down with her for my opinions on some things.  As soon as we got our coffee/tea at the cafe and chose a table, she told me that she needed a little “HR therapy.”  

This is one of my strengths.

She identified three traits about herself about which she wanted my input; she is feeling frustrated with her boss’ behavior - a VP of HR close to retirement - and wanted my advice on how to “manage up” carefully and effectively.  After a 90 minute discussion, she felt she had enough to move forward confidently.

She called me back a couple hours later to report that something I said in our meeting had had an immediate effect - she was able to do an online search for a template for an Executive Summary and that it would help her manage her boss as she prepares for an upcoming presentation to the company executives.  I was reminded of her opening statement about needing “therapy” and it dawned on me that that is what I do: I am an HR Therapist.  Isn’t it interesting how we find clarity as we help others find theirs?