A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-seven

Day 57 - PTO

Sunday was a “me day.”  I took some Personal Time Off.  I needed a break.

Actually, I need a vacation - I haven’t taken a significant amount of time to recharge in a year or more.  But since travel and leisure aren’t in the cards for this month, I made the most of a few hours to enjoy the outdoors during some wonderful weather.  It was what I needed in the moment.  

I did meet a couple that I hope to run into sometime again - they told me they go to “beer bust” on Sunday afternoons at one of the bars in North Portland, and I hope to have a chance to meet up with them there at some point.  There will undoubtedly be others there who are equally interesting.  We’ll see.  But more importantly, I need to make an effort to delve further into the social aspects of Portland, and make my “me time” more connected.

It wasn’t much, but it was nice.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-six

Day 56 - Respectful Disagreement

I had an interesting experience.  I asked a friend how he was doing; I said, “How are you, my friend?”  

“OK.”

“Just OK?”

“I’m surprised you’re even calling me your friend.”

(Whoa....  Where did that come from?)  It turns out he took issue with my political views as indicated by the articles I had recently posted on Facebook.  I admit I was surprised to find out he was Republican (I think he is the only artist I know who is), but that wasn’t what surprised me the most.  I was taken aback by the idea that just because I didn’t like the brinkmanship demonstrated the Tea Partiers in Congress, and have made my feelings clear about them, I might include him in with them.

First, he’s not in Congress.  Second, I don’t discard my friendships because we have opposite views of a given subject.  While I might agree with certain columnists’ descriptions of the ideological extremists that are forcing their narrow views onto our government’s actions, I don’t automatically describe all fiscal conservatives the same way.  Some are actually rational.

What made me feel good about the whole conversation that ensued was the fact that we could disagree and discuss without shouting, name-calling, or otherwise shutting down the other person.  If anything, I think the friendship was strengthened (at least one can hope).  He treated me with respect, and I reciprocated.  I was glad we could disagree without being disagreeable.  I only wish our representatives in government could do as well.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-five

Day 55 - Esteem

I believe in Abraham Maslow’s “Hierarchy of Needs.”  I’ve seen it work.  If you don’t know who Abraham Maslow was, or what this hierarchy is, do a quick Google search.  (He introduced it in 1943, and still it’s “news”....)

I was treated today to a moment of “esteem” - the fourth of five levels - as I was asked to facilitate a support group for job seekers.  The group founder, Cleon Cox, was going to be late due to another engagement, and he asked me to lead the group this week.  This was an “esteem” moment because when he asked me to cover for him, Cleon indicated I had the competence to do it, and that he trusted me.  It made me feel very good.

OK, so it’s not leading an international think tank, or a presidential panel.  This was leading a fairly unstructured conversation among a group of people in the Portland area looking for full time employment.  But still, Cleon’s trust means something to me.  It’s not what people do that makes us remember them, it’s how they make us feel.  

I’ll never forget a teacher I had many years ago saying to our class that while we may be loved unconditionally, to be trusted is the greater compliment.

Thank you, Cleon, for trusting me.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-four

Day 54 - The Help

I had two particularly good experiences today (Thursday, 8/4).

The first came with my friend Jen, who helped me create a logo for a business idea I’m working on.  It’s not really a new idea - it’s still HR solutions - but it begins the process of giving my business an identity beyond just its name.  And I couldn’t have done it without Jen’s talent.  She’s gifted.  I’m so grateful for her generosity.

The second came with my friend Ellen.  Here is one of the kindest, most giving people I’ve ever met.  She “gets it” on every level, and I’m so glad we met.  We went to see the new movie “The Help” - we got tickets to a free screening - and had a blast.  The movie was OK (when the final credits started, she turned to me and said “I haven’t read it yet, but I think the book was better.”  I agreed), but the time spent in line talking, and then talking afterward, was priceless.  It was a particularly pleasant evening.

I realized later that both of these amazing women have helped me.  They, and others like them, have been my help, and I’m grateful for them.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-three

Day 53 - Full Days

I know I’ve written about “busy-ness” before; I have come to the conclusion that my goal of never repeating any topic over a span of 365 days is not realistic, so I will try to offer a different take on those that are repeated because of the events of a given day.

Day 53 (Wednesday, 8/3) went beyond “busy-ness.”  I didn’t get a break - even for a workout.  I was “on” from 8:00 until 8:00 PM, and was so exhausted I even forgot to brush my teeth before getting into bed.

It was a productive day, too.  I went to my first “HR Lunch Bunch” meeting hosted by HR Answers in Tualatin.  It was a great discussion and I felt very much at home surrounded by HR people again.  I also may get some kind of referral from it, too.  We’ll see.  I also attended a planning meeting for the Portland Leadership Forum, and that, too, was a productive discussion.  I look forward to more of these.

I then met a new acquaintance, Chuck, for coffee downtown.  Delightful man.  His partner was the Executive Director for Affirmation at one time, too (a support group for gay Mormons), so we could relate on another level besides job seeking and networking.  I look forward to getting together with him again.

And I attended a Next Level mixer in the evening.  This is one of those casual business mixers that are always enjoyable; but what makes this one unique for me is that I always meet someone that has real business potential - maybe not a potential customer, but the networking seems to work here in ways other groups can only aspire to.  I’m not sure what makes this one so different, but I won’t miss them.

Time flies when you’re having fun.  I have to admit, I’m having fun, even though so much of my effort is focused on finding work.  I don’t think I’ve ever worked harder in my life, and that feels good.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-two

Day 52 - Perspectives

I had the chance to meet with two new acquaintances from my networking opportunities.  The first, Steve, met me for lunch at the Panera Cares Cafe in the Hollywood District of NE Portland (I talk about why I like this place in the Day 25 blog entry).  Steve has the most amazing energy, and it was difficult at times for me to keep up.  He’s a driven, “Type A” personality with a passion for what he does (education and assessment).  He’s the type of person you meet and immediately want to help because you cannot help but like him.  His smile matches his intellect - absolutely brilliant.

Later in the day, I met with Linda, whom I have admired since the day we met.  We had a beer at a pub in North Portland, surrounded by the most diverse group of people I’ve seen in awhile.  She has a youthful air about her that is refreshing and warm, like a breeze on a summer afternoon, able to cool a forehead or start a wildfire, depending only on the condition of what it fans.  She is unique.  She is reserved without seeming shy; she listens and considers everything.  She is quick to smile and to make you feel comfortable.  I’ll bet she is wonderful to work for.  I have no doubt that she will be amazingly successful.

Then Hal and I joined a small group of people who went to see “The Double Hour,” an Italian film (subtitled, of course) that had more surprising twists and turns than any film I have seen in years; it was suspenseful without being gut-wrenching, and left you thinking, too.  It has been too long since I’ve seen a foreign film in the theater, and look forward to making a point of going to more of them.

At the end of the day, I had experienced a number of different perspectives - on employment, on integrity, and on understanding - that enriched my own.  It was a long, busy, and ultimately wonderful day.

A Year of Gratitude - Day Fifty-one

Day 51 - Learning

Monday August 1, 2011, Day 51 of my Gratitude Blog, was not a busy day.  I was still too busy to write what I might be grateful for, though; so as I “catch up,” I’m reminded of the networking meeting I went to in the afternoon, and then of being on the Board of Directors of the International Gay & Lesbian Travel Association seven years ago.  I have changed a lot in the seven years in between.  I have grown up.

In 2004, sitting in a board meeting in Chicago, I was awe-struck by the brilliance in the room.  Here were business owners and entrepreneurs who knew so much more about business than I did, and I was easily intimidated into silence.  I didn’t add much to the discussion, and probably never gained the respect of the majority of board members (one pulled me aside to say he appreciated what I added to the team, but I think that was in response to my reluctance to fully participate).  Interesting, too, that part of that year I was on the board, I was also unemployed.

Seven years later, I sit in a networking meeting with C-level executives, department heads and business leaders who are all looking for their next employment opportunity, and I am comfortable among them.  I have been a department head; I have been a leader and manager; I have studied hard and earned a professional certification.  Am I better than these people?  Hardly.  Am I inferior to them?  No.  Something I’ve learned over the past seven years is that we all bring something worthwhile to the table.  We ALL have value.

I believe that some events in our lives are repeated because there is something fundamental that we didn’t learn earlier.  The opportunities to learn a life lesson will return until we either learn it or die trying.  I have learned many things in the tough times since 2004.  I have grown a lot and gained some courage.  I remember the comment I heard long ago that the more we learn, the more we realize how much we don’t know, and that’s certainly true for me now.  But I am learning.  

It may take me longer than some to learn what I need to know, but I’m moving in the right direction.